You have to pay with a briefcase of cash!

Your favorite uncredentialed pigskin pundits return for the first episode in nearly two months to talk about all the things that haven't really happened since the NFL draft. In this pre-pre-pre-season episode, the Bluethers discuss the podcast's bleak financial outlook and what you can do to help change that. They also break down their shared cultural imprint with Lost and Friends.

Zach and Willys chat about the newly intimidating and lovable Cleveland Browns and the blistering Odell-ness of wearing a $200,000 watch to participate in football practice.

Fun ensues. This might just be the greatest episode of An Inconvenient Blueth that isn't called "It's a toe episode!"

The bass is going right over this part!

With Gettleman's draft ars poetica in the books, the Bluethers return from another mandatory cool-down period to discuss the selection of Daniel Jones, the close call with Josh Rosen, and how to proceed with Giants fandom in the face of increasingly bewildering incoherence from the front office.

In other words, this is the 2019 draft recap you never knew you wanted.

It's interesting artificial intelligence!

Back from their mandatory cool-down period following the Odell Beckham trade, Zach and Willys discuss their impressions of the Giants' offseason so far. With the most interesting player on the team now playing for a franchise that's famous for losing, they ponder what they will talk about going forward and how they'll continue to deliver #premiumcontent to the ever-deserving Ones. They also analyze how likely a Josh Rosen acquisition for Big Blue really is, and take a quick look at what the club will do at the draft later this month.

Other topics discussed include robots that play instruments, sushi, Zach's superhuman ability to stay awake, and some hot microphone shade.

I'll give you a hint: boink boink!

The Giants are 1-0 in the playoffs this year, or we can at least assume as much given the club’s general stance toward creative interpretations of success over the last few months. The biggest news out of Big Blue World this week is all about Josh Rosen, so the Bluethers take this once-in-a-lifetime chance to talk even more than usual about Josh Rosen. They take a look back at Wild Card Weekend, compare their predictions, and look ahead to the NFL’s Round of 8. Zach and Willys also break down the latest developments for elite quarterback prospects and take a lesson about football from the GOAT, President Abraham Lincoln.